In showbiz, there are stories that the public has heard over and over again—conflicts, separations, fights, downfalls, and rises. But there are also stories that are avoided because every detail is like a wound that is torn open again. For twenty-two years, that has been Claudine Barretto’s life. And now, for the first time after a long period of silence, praying, fighting, and swallowing resentment, she is ready to close a chapter that almost destroyed her entire being.

The interview with Claudine is not a simple update, not a simple “tell-all,” but a brave and painful confrontation with the memories of Rico Yan—the man she loved, fought with, left, and ultimately never spoke to again. And behind the shocking statements, emerges a woman battered by guilt, choked by trauma, and almost swallowed by sadness—but now slowly learning to breathe again.

Reopening old wounds

Claudine admitted that for more than two decades she shunned, buried, and forced herself to forget some memories of Rico. Not because she wanted to forget them, but because every return was like a fang hitting her chest. In the eyes of the public, she was the woman who left the spirit of the “Clau and Rico” love team. She was the one who was blamed for the heartache. She was the one who was called a “hypocrite,” “landian,” “salbahe.”

But for Claudine, the cruelest accusation comes from herself.

Her failure to answer Rico’s seven calls—that’s the guilt she’s cried over for 22 years. And now, she’s laid out a detailed timeline to put an end to the false stories and to finally, at least a little bit, ease the pain that only she truly felt.

The screaming inside the van and the anger at God

He also revealed how, in the midst of a series of problems—losing his father, breaking up his family, being alone as a single parent, suffering from depression, and having his name tarnished—he reached the point where he locked himself inside a van and shouted:

“Why? Why are you doing this to me? Hindi ko deserve ito!”

According to him, he was angry with God; not just sulking, but anger that came from a heart full of weariness and destruction. And there, while he was filled with resentment, he spoke to someone who said: “That’s good. Because if you’re angry, it means you still believe.”

That time was what Claudine called her “snap moment”—a return to prayer, facing her own pain, and facing the truth that not all the burdens in the world are punishments.

Admitting depression and stigma

Claudine recounts the mental health struggles she has gone through—panic attacks, anxiety, PTSD, rehab in Thailand. Back then, she was labeled “bipolar,” “unstable,” “crazy.” Now, she says clearly:

“I am not ashamed. Depression is an illness. It is not a weakness.”

He also didn’t hide the fact that at one point, he reached a point where he didn’t want to live anymore. But what stopped him? His children—and the question of who would take care of them if he were gone.

Breaking a cycle

While remembering Rico’s loss, he admitted that their own family remained “divided.” And now that their mother is 88 years old, he prays every day that before she dies, they and their siblings will be reconciled. But the truth is: until now, they haven’t.

Despite this, he admits that some closures are necessary to open something new. This is why now, after 22 years, he has chosen to speak out:

“This is the chapter I am closing. And this is a chapter I am beginning.”

A mother’s brokenness and rebuilding

It’s clear that even in the turmoil of love life, mental health, family, and career, there’s one thing that hasn’t failed her: motherhood. She praised her children for having no headaches, no rebellion phase, and being respectful. The reason for her rise revolves around them.

And because of them, he said he will file a VAWC case again to fight for financial support that is really for the children’s future.

Not to cause trouble.
Not to seek revenge.
But for the rights of the children.

His real request to Raymart: not money—time

In the midst of everything, he kept repeating one simple request:

“Spend time with your kids.”

Because for him, presence is more important than money. And if the children’s education is not provided, he is ready to fight legally.

Dealing with haters and the last memory

For those who accuse her of using Rico, Claudine said straight out: wrong. She would never use the man she loved. But she also admitted that it was impossible for her to forget him. Every day she carries the guilt, the pain, and the dream that she could have done something.

But now, a gradual process of self-forgiveness has begun, and he has a message that resonates over and over again:

“Until Rico’s last breath, I know he loves me.”

He can’t go back to the past, but he can fix the rest of his life—for his children, for his aging mother, for his own peace, and for the beginning of a new chapter.

And now that the story is over, Claudine’s final message is clear:
She will never talk about her and Rico’s story again.
Not because she wants to escape it—
but because it’s time to free herself from 22 years of burden.

And that was his first real breath.